tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72815156819751392242024-03-13T16:33:26.421+00:00bien soeurbien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.comBlogger121125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-52615279295057776992014-11-15T15:08:00.000+00:002014-11-15T16:01:46.376+00:00Iconic children's TV shows, often recalled with great affectionThe arts have a unique ability to transport our mind off to faraway places, to excite our imagination and invite us to enjoy experiences, responses, emotions, we might never get the chance to do, in our day to day lives. This can be particularly powerful for children.<br />
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My childhood was nothing like the idyllic scenes often portrayed in literature and film, but the magic of creative, inspiring, often pioneering kids TV, made life not only bearable, for me, but, at times, thrilling beyond belief.<br />
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Here are 3 shows I recall with particular affection:</div>
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The theme tune from the original "Belle and Sebastian" TV show actually makes me quite tearful, even now! It featured a little orphan boy and his deep attachment to a (not very scary) wild dog that roamed the mountains, which everyone was always trying to kill. A film, adaptation was released in 2013, but lacked the charm of the 1960s black and white episodes.<br />
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Innovative, in so many ways - exceptional writing, which incorporated elements of the eerie supernatural, along with transcendental mysticism, and a cast to die for! It starred protagonist, Tarot, a heart-stoppingly dishy stage magician with psychic powers, and featured various side-kicks (Mikki, a journalist, and her brother, Chas, a photographer - in the 3rd series). Running from 1970-1972, with series 3 repeated in 1973, everything about these episodes was cool, from the far out graphics in the title sequence, to the theme tune by Andy Brown and the iconic, stylish presentation. So many hearts broken, when a promised series 4 never materialised, I'm sure this is one show that could be successfully resurrected and lovingly reworked for a modern audience, because it remains, for many of us, the best TV show ever made for adolescents!</div>
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A one-off serial, that ran over 7 episodes in 1977, and which combined the sinister world of the occult with some rudimentary cosmology! While protagonist Matthew Brake, naturally, lacked the obvious sex appeal, charisma and kudos of Tarot, he sort of reminded you of the irritating nerdy kid at school, everyone ridiculed, but you often had strange, secret dreams about, because your subconscious always regarded intellect to be utterly enchanting! (To this day, if a man says "phantasmagorical" I have to stop myself swooning!) Writer, Jeremy Burnham published a long-awaited sequel novel, "Return to the Stones", in 2012, which took me right back to being a teenager, and it's surprising, once again, this hasn't been updated, to appeal to a new generation of viewers, because the writing is exceptionally good.</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-10140778196459959732014-10-11T13:12:00.001+01:002014-10-11T13:31:49.096+01:00Earth in True Perspective - We need to make the most of this beautiful moment in time<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Earth in True Perspective</span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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This taken from <a href="http://www.ba-bamail.com//view.aspx?emailid=12288&MemberId=0&" target="_blank">baba mail page </a></div>
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<i>Everything is relative. You don't need to be Einstein to
understand that. A human is as big to an ant as a building may be to him.
However, the world always seems such a huge place; so many countries, cities,
forests, oceans, lakes, icebergs. So many animals and species. So much history.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>But ever since we developed the ability to look beyond our
atmosphere, it became more and more apparent that our blue marble is tiny. Too
tiny to even comprehend, when compared to other planets, stars, galaxies and
the universe itself. So just to give you an idea of how tiny we really are here
on planet earth, here are some visual aids.</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPMu_udVLmdbrUQLWJdfjIlTUCcCksXlEP4CyWb9wKTSZANPUE0O6YZ0P6FQNM-M5bFwJlxTaI6akIsMFZDmtVrLkTfulwfWJuuvncZEFKBuyacrLYYPvOBEzMbHTclm-sw5zI29hD1wEd/s1600/earth+in+perspective+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPMu_udVLmdbrUQLWJdfjIlTUCcCksXlEP4CyWb9wKTSZANPUE0O6YZ0P6FQNM-M5bFwJlxTaI6akIsMFZDmtVrLkTfulwfWJuuvncZEFKBuyacrLYYPvOBEzMbHTclm-sw5zI29hD1wEd/s1600/earth+in+perspective+1.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6S_-GIz9STYoNpRlRQ_wDcD3XFNLi7Uh3HM8P53FIE7oNqrUWzUXE2FtYleuXVb0_3TTam8h3MBsxlHeHjJl0FWLLEeR6MUqw49G9qF17Gt_NYiwuPBhcc0svK9FUTg02c8MuS70s9H2x/s1600/earth+in+perpecttive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6S_-GIz9STYoNpRlRQ_wDcD3XFNLi7Uh3HM8P53FIE7oNqrUWzUXE2FtYleuXVb0_3TTam8h3MBsxlHeHjJl0FWLLEeR6MUqw49G9qF17Gt_NYiwuPBhcc0svK9FUTg02c8MuS70s9H2x/s1600/earth+in+perpecttive.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4bLUKiHize04Vra2GEdrbdSZjkbi74ESg1cVUNYv2mWKc-MQetR1yyQqkhpCtJlzoZ1xq8m1Lyk8R0O7aMBd1lHpbDJlWwSfhyphenhyphenbNjorwHuFyKPr-8N95NdLnAHezlWl9pDiRdluiiO0xr/s1600/earth+in+perspective+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4bLUKiHize04Vra2GEdrbdSZjkbi74ESg1cVUNYv2mWKc-MQetR1yyQqkhpCtJlzoZ1xq8m1Lyk8R0O7aMBd1lHpbDJlWwSfhyphenhyphenbNjorwHuFyKPr-8N95NdLnAHezlWl9pDiRdluiiO0xr/s1600/earth+in+perspective+3.jpg" height="640" width="638" /></a></div>
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Given that there is an infinite (or near infinite) number of galaxies, stars, planets, it is impossible to comprehend that intelligent life,
in some form or other doesn't exist, or has never existed or will never exist.
Only religion can be true, for that to be a fact, which is something of a
contradiction in terms really.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So assuming intelligent life does exist or has existed or
will exist on other planets (if religion is not a fact) this means to the vast
majority of the universe, I do not exist yet, or have existed and I'm now dead.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We need to make the most of this wonderful coincidence that
we all happened to be living here on this single planet, in this single beautiful moment
in time, and pool our resources including love, especially love, to make
wonderful things happen, even if they are gone in a universal blink of an eye.<o:p></o:p></div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-77522511514747259042014-10-01T00:32:00.000+01:002014-10-01T00:34:48.124+01:00To be Sartrean is to have courage, and the anxiety he talks of comes from knowing you do not have the option to just blame someone else. Every decision you make is something to judge yourself by. I am a Sartrean, to a large extent, but I think most people
struggle with the concept that we are free to make any choice we like, but we
have to live with the consequences of our actions and take full responsibility
for everything we choose to do (and this is the ultimate autonomy I have often
talked of.)<br />
<br />
In my experience, most of the people I have known, certainly known
romantically, struggle to find the courage to accept full responsibility for
the things they do in life. They prefer to blame external factors or blame
others or say they were pressurised into things, and therefore they have a
lifetime of regrets. I don't think a Sartrean can ever really have regrets. You
do what feels right at the time, and have to come to terms with those decisions
you made along the way.<br />
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To be Sartrean is to have courage, and the anxiety he
talks of comes from knowing you do not have the option to just blame someone
else. Every decision you make is something to judge yourself by. So being
Sartrean requires, I would say, immense personal integrity, to have good
judgement in your decision making because your whole sense of self is coloured
by what you decide to do.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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And that's why most people don't seem to like him, but I
absolutely love him. That learning to accept who you are, your limitations,
maybe, leads to healthy self-love - and this where JAMism takes over from
Sartre's version of existential philosophy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Obviously I share his leanings towards Marxism, or my own
take on Marxism (not Marx's version or Sartre's version of Marxism, mine can
only ever be my reality of Marxist philosophy) and increasingly I find I share
his view on the pointlessness of marriage, and a desire to find something which
is less about owning another person, and more a cerebral coming together which
then manifests itself in physical ways, and is never about feeling obliged to
stay, which ultimately most marriages seem to end up being, as far as I can
see. </div>
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There is lot of insecurity in most marriages and although Sartre talks a
lot of anxiety and despair, ultimately you would not feel insecure or any need
to coerce or possess another person, not even your own children. They have to
be free in their own right, and you have to be free of them on some level,
though of course we have a moral responsibility to them when they are young.
But I know so many parents who are hoping their children will grow up to have
the parents' values and this is completely contrary to Sartrean thinking. You
have no ethical right to want to control what your children might or might not
be.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Again, one has to have enormous personal integrity not to
need to actively influence one's own children. But it can be done. I think I've
achieved a version of this, and people often think I'm a very odd parent. I
totally accept my sons' own right to be their own person, I have never once
said or even thought they should have one set of values or another set of
values. They are completely free, or as free as it is possible to be,to be
their own person and to make their own life choices. It has never been my place
to pass judgement on them, or them on me...<o:p></o:p></div>
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I can also come across as incredibly pious... but my values
are just for me, I don't expect anyone else to have my values.</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/p8XfewSr5Ds" width="459"></iframe>bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-59418165462642602652014-08-25T02:54:00.001+01:002014-08-25T10:17:20.693+01:00The 7 Stages of Grief and Loss explained<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">This is an update of a blog I
wrote last summer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I have been pondering loss a
lot recently, watching the heartbreaking carnage and devastation which is going
on in Gaza right now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I've been thinking about how
we, as observers, are experiencing the losses our Palestinian brothers and
sisters are having to cope with day by day, hour by hour.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I know what it's like to lose
a child. But in my case the little girl
was born dead and I had never had the opportunity to develop a relationship
with her outside of the womb. As any
mother will tell you though, we certainly did develop a deep bond, through the
8 months I was carrying her, and losing her was almost too much to bear. I could actually feel my heart breaking as
the very lovely male midwife explained there was no foetal heartbeat, the baby had
died, and we would now have to go through a very emotional labour and birth,
knowing the only conclusion of that experience, would be me saying goodbye to
my son or daughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">So, I know what it is like to
lose a child in those circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">But I cannot begin to imagine
the sense of abject, incomprehensible devastation of losing a son or daughter,
who was alive and happy and well, a few hours ago, and has been killed, perhaps
horribly maimed so that he or she is not even recognisable now, because a
country has decided to inflict war on your people, misery on your family,
extermination on your child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Who could begin to understand
what that must feel like, apart from other grieving mothers and fathers in
Gaza.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">But of course, I am
hurting. Like millions of others around
the world, I feel a gaping wound open up, every time I see another son or
daughter lying lifeless in the arms of the mother who cherished them, or the
doctor who tried everything they could think of, to try to save them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">In the original article on
Grief and Loss, I used a number of scenarios to explain what is going on at
each stage of the grieving process. Now I am going to add in,
what is probably happening when we are experiencing viewing these awful,
mindless acts of death and destruction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">To try and make sense of that
which is shocking us every time we see another image.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Many of us will have heard of
a theory that states there are 7 stages of loss and grief (some psychologists
say 5). The belief is that we go through
7 different phases of dealing with any loss in our lives, and this theory relates
to all kind of loss, from the relatively mundane, such as losing our car keys,
to the enormous losses we all have to face in life, such as the breakdown of
important relationships and the death of cherished loved ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Although these stages go
generally in order, we may find ourselves hopping back to previous stages, and
if people get stuck on a particular level, this is when there can be a sense of
hopelessness, this is often the point at which someone will consider
counselling to help move them on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I will try and explain
what is happening when we experience any sort of loss, including loss
experienced by someone we care about or feel connected to. Because the human brain is full of mirror
cells, which enable us to empathise and experience other people's pain as if it
were happening to us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Here are the examples then:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">losing your house keys</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">losing a job</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">end of a relationship</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 14pt;">witnessing the death of a
child in Gaza</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>The 7 Stages</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>1) Shock</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">You're simply stunned by the
event of the immediate loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Inability to even comprehend
what has happened, senses in temporary shut-down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">"God!!" "Shit!!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>2) Denial</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Inability to accept what's
happened. "Everything's fine! "This can't be happening!"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys</b> - They're here
somewhere, pocket, bag, kitchen table!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job</b> - They can't sack me,
they've made a mistake, someone will come in and take us over!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship</b> - She hasn't
actually left me, she'll be back!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - It's not as
bad as it looks. The pictures are all
doctored. There's two sides to every
story. It's more complicated than people
think. Distraction techniques to relieve
symptoms of stress, such as watching reality TV or reading celebrity gossip
magazines. Using drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. I don't understand the situation in the Middle East. I don't like politics.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>3) Anger</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Lashing out, losing emotional
and physical control, looking for someone or something to blame for the loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys</b> - Who moved my keys!
This always happens when you make me late!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job</b> - It's the managers'
fault for losing contracts! I blame
immigrants! I hated that job!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship</b> - She never
loved me! She only wanted me until
someone better came along!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - It's all
politicians fault!! IDF/Hammas are to
blame! Arguing with people online.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>4) Bargaining</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Making internal deals with
yourself or someone else, or with God.
If the situation changes, the outcome will change. Pledging to make sacrifices for a better
outcome. Revisiting the physical place
of loss in the hope of a different outcome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys </b> - I had them in the kitchen, they must be
there! OK, I'll pick up your mother, now
where's my keys!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job</b> - I'll take a pay
cut. I'll work longer hours. Don't sack me, sack them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship</b> - I'll
change! Marry me! Let's have a baby!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - Being
completely preoccupied with media, in the hope of positive news. Cutting off
friends and family who don't sympathise with the suffering. Going to church,
lighting a candle and saying a prayer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>5) Guilt</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Taking on all the blame for
the loss.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys</b> - I should have put them
on the hook. I should have got a spare
set cut.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job </b>- It's because I had time
off for my bad back. It's because I'm
49.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship</b> - I took her for
granted. I mess up every relationship I
have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - I should be
there in Gaza trying to help. I should
be more vocal than I am. I should
appreciate my own children more. I should have voted in the last election. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>6) Depression</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Overwhelming sadness,
physical and emotional withdrawal from life and family and friends, loss of
hope, despair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys </b>- I can't be bothered to
look any more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job </b>- I'm never going to find
another job. I'm on the scrap heap now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship</b> - No-one else
will ever want me. She was the only one
for me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - The world is
heading towards Armageddon. All world
leaders are corrupt. Ordinary people can't overpower governments. (There may be a return to the denial phase at
this point, distraction with drink, drugs, sexual promiscuity, reality TV,
shopping)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>7) Acceptance</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Coming to terms with what's
happened. Acknowledging the impact of
the loss while recognising life has to move on.
Appreciating how valued the object, situation or person was and
ultimately a sense of hope that there will be happy times again in the future.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Keys</b> - I guess I'd better get
another set cut after work then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Job</b> - Let's organise a
leaving party, and stay in touch after the redundancies.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Relationship </b>- We had some
good times, but it just wasn't meant to be. Joining dating sites.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Death of Palestinian child</b> - Joining
groups which share your views and have positive plans. Co-operating to make an effective
protest. Boycotting Israeli goods and
companies associated with the occupied territories. Finding places to purchase
Palestinian goods to support their economy. Donating money to a worthy charity.
Thinking about practical ways society can be made better, safer, more secure
for that region and all children everywhere. Creating a memorial.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Of course, some losses are
much easier to come to terms with than others, but the belief is, that we will
still go through each of these stages as we process the emotions associated
with the loss. So in some cases we'll go
through all 7 stages in one hour or one day, in more devastating circumstances,
it will take months or even years to feel like life is moving on.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Sometimes, people might find they always get stuck at the same stage of grief, such as anger or bargaining or guilt, and whether they're dealing with failing an exam, or losing a train ticket, or having an argument with their spouse, or missing out on promotion at work, they just can't seem to process the loss beyond that stage. And that can be a good indication to get extra support, and go and talk to someone about what keeps happening. Because if we can't fully process loss, it's harder to commit to things in the future, without this fear of having to deal with an ending one day. And that fear of loss and endings, might not be conscious, so we recognise what's going on in our minds and hearts, it could be completely unconscious, and we don't even know why we are always the the one who dumps the other one, in relationships, or why we always walk out on a job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">In terms of death and mourning, as a general guide,
psychologists and counsellors would expect it to take about 2 years to come to
terms with the death of someone close, who is actually in our lives, a parent
or grandparent, sibling, partner, child or close friend. When the first set of anniversaries come
around, their birthday, wedding anniversary, anniversary of their death, we can
find ourselves back at the anger stage for a while. By the second anniversary, the sense of loss
will usually have lessened considerably and be replaced with some level of
hope. When people are still deep in
mourning, 2 years on from the death, some benefit might be gained from getting
help with coping with the sense of grief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">As I write this, of course,
my thoughts and love are with the people of Gaza. We continue to apply pressure for a peaceful
resolution and a fair future for all Palestinians. -xx-<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-11849885973900626442014-08-24T14:27:00.000+01:002014-08-24T14:27:01.101+01:00Heartbreak, Depression and Why Do We Cry? - 3 Little Films from ASAP Science<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/lGglw8eAikY?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/GOK1tKFFIQI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/QGdHJSIr1Z0?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-72620826921931300532014-08-19T17:21:00.000+01:002014-08-19T17:21:29.502+01:00Kelly McGonigal TED Talk : How to make stress your friend<div style="text-align: left;">
Incredible TED talk given by health psychologist Kelly McGonigal<br />
<br />
Kelly McGonigal talks about the biological response we know as stress, and how it's been drilled into us from health care professionals that stress is bad for our health, to the point where so many people are getting stressed about being stressed.<br />
<br />
She offers scientific evidence to back up the value of a more natural relationship with stress, so that we are again in control of our bodies.<br />
<br />
She talks about my favourite hormone, Oxytocin, and its role in promoting physical resilience to stress.<br />
<br />
<br />
Brilliant lines from her talk!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li>When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you
create the biology of courage </li>
<li>And when you choose to connect with others under
stress, you can create resilience</li>
<li>Stress gives us access to our hearts</li>
<li>The compassionate heart finds joy and meaning in connecting with others</li>
<li>Under stress, your pounding physical
heart, works hard to give you strength and energy </li>
<li>And when you choose to view stress in this
way, you're not just getting better at
stress you're actually making a pretty profound statement </li>
<li>You're saying that you can trust yourself to
handle life's challenges </li>
<li>And you're remembering that you don't have to face
those challenges alone</li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Now watch her talk for yourself, and see if you too, can start to feel differently about stress!</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/RcGyVTAoXEU" width="480"></iframe></div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-46791533965170502552014-07-26T22:24:00.000+01:002014-07-26T22:27:01.796+01:00The Secret To Staying With Someone Forever Is To Keep Falling In Love (And Never Stop) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGUkxXBp9zv01BdjOh8cEdP71Q5f1XDoULy4KhrewuROBbLTdVSEB1LCA3jV0LtNEhHBxe1gCfUUoIcefKEdD6R4SckAYCJICxinI4tOd2CVlSuIlxKzPcUJ5eyqxQRFBFZIt9LAAs7a7C/s1600/falling+in+love+again.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGUkxXBp9zv01BdjOh8cEdP71Q5f1XDoULy4KhrewuROBbLTdVSEB1LCA3jV0LtNEhHBxe1gCfUUoIcefKEdD6R4SckAYCJICxinI4tOd2CVlSuIlxKzPcUJ5eyqxQRFBFZIt9LAAs7a7C/s1600/falling+in+love+again.jpg" height="208" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You’re
not exactly sure what’s going on. Your heart keeps racing, regardless of
whether or not you’re in this person’s presence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thoughts
flood your mind, making it difficult to focus on anything other than the person
in front of you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
person is there with you throughout the day, keeping you company in your
moments of solitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You
can’t let go of him or her because this person has somehow managed to seep
through your pores, fusing and making the distinction between you and this
person a little more than shadow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You’re
falling in love, and the world finally just started spinning. The moment you
realize what it is that you’re getting yourself into is the moment that you
take a fresh breath of life and begin living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Falling
in love is the most memorable moment of your life – each and every time it
happens. In life, you should never stop falling in love because the moment that
you do, the colors start to fade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We’re
cursed to forever draw comparisons between new experiences and memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Just
as much as it is advantageous, having the ability to prop two things side by
side, compare them and analyze them, is also what damns us to a life riddled
with sadness and disappointment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Accepting
that the lows in life are necessary for the highs isn’t built into our nature.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
are creatures who never want to lose. We never want to lessen our holdings, our
place in the world and social circles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
are individuals who fear loss. When we take a look at experiences we’ve had and
emotions that we’ve felt, we compare them to what it is that we are feeling at
the present moment.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">While
memories allow us to look back fondly, they simultaneously lessen the pleasure
that we receive from what we are now experiencing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Because
we hate losing, we love the idea of always rising higher, always getting more,
experiencing something novel and, above all else, improving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We’re
in a constant competition with ourselves trying to outdo our pleasant moments
in life with more pleasant and more memorable ones.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">All
of this, however, is an illusion – a trick that we play on ourselves. And it’s
this constant pursuit of that higher high that will make you feel as if you’re
constantly on the losing team.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To
win in life and to form a successful partnership, you have to learn to
appreciate the uniqueness of every moment you live.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Every
little thing that you see and experience in life is different from everything
else that you have ever experienced.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">No
two seconds in your life will ever be the same. No two moments will ever taste
exactly like another, nor will you ever again live this very minute of your
life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
all live on borrowed time. The person you are this very second is not the
person you were the last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
difference may be minuscule, unnoticeable even. Yet, a difference there is.
When looking over a wider span of time, it’s readily noticeable how much we
change as people.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
very same principle applies to every person in the world. It applies to your
friends, your family, your colleagues and your lovers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Every
moment you spend with the person you love is a moment you will never get back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s
a moment in time that ceases to exist as soon as it comes into being.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
time that you have with the one you love is time that you ought to cherish,
regardless of how it makes you feel compared to how other moments in your life
made you feel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What
you once felt is gone. You can’t live in past, allowing fossilized emotions to
influence your decisions. What you are feeling right now is the only time in
your life that you will feel exactly that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
moment is unique. It isn’t duplicable and therefore it should be appreciated.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Because
we take each moment for granted, we lose sight of the fact that love is a
living thing that needs to be nurtured.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
secret to loving, lasting relationships is simple. You need to fall in love
with the person all over again and do so as often as possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We
all remember that moment when we come to realize that this stranger we met not
too long ago holds great value to us, the moment we realize that we care about
this person as much as we care about ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
magical moment will almost certainly never be as magical as it was the first
time around. When you fall in love with someone the first time, the novelty of
it all intensifies the experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
raises your awareness of both the individual you love and the emotions you’re
experiencing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
first time will always be the most intense of times if only because of that
extra stimulant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This,
however, does not mean that falling in love over and over again with the same
individual isn’t possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">All
it means is that falling in love with this person will never feel the same as
it did the first time around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It
will feel different each and every time and it will be for different reasons,
under different conditions and circumstances.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nevertheless,
falling in love continuously over a lifetime with that single person is not
only possible, but necessary in order for you to be part of the sort of
relationship you’ve always dreamed of.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">What
you cannot allow yourself to do, however, is to spend time comparing the way
that you are now feeling to the way that you felt initially when Cupid struck
his arrow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Doing
so will only nullify the emotions that you should be feeling. The past will
drown out the present if you don’t learn to love the moment for what it is
alone and nothing else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don’t
run from fear of losing love. You can’t lose it. You can only stop creating it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Originally appeared at <a href="http://elitedaily.com/dating/successful-relationships-rely-continuously-falling-love/683427/" target="_blank">Elite Daily</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Photo <a href="http://elitedaily.com/dating/successful-relationships-rely-continuously-falling-love/683427/" target="_blank">Elite Daily</a></span></div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-63404850650675012002014-07-14T08:26:00.002+01:002018-06-13T22:50:59.967+01:00How can a woman possibly write a play about a homosexual love affair?<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">"....Number
one, Rob - I don’t "fuck" your daughter. And number two - I’d finish
with Daisy tomorrow if you asked me to. It’s you I’m in love with, you know it
is…."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">So,
people have asked me, how can a woman possibly write a play about a homosexual
love affair... which is a fair question to pose... I suppose...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But
it's not a play about gay sex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It's
a story about love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
in this particular story the two humans who fall deeply and very passionately
in love with one another happen to be men.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It's
not really a piece of erotica, there aren't great long scenes focusing on the
mechanics of homosexual sex...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
far as the play is concerned, sex is sex... love is love...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
emotions we experience when we fall desperately, and very genuinely in love,
tend to be the same, whether we are young or old, male or female, trans, gay,
straight, bisexual...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
craving...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
euphoria...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
insecurity...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
jealousy...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
ache...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
longing...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
sleepless nights and the desperate days...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
hopes...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
dreams...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
ridiculous fragility of it all...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
know more about love than almost any other subject, or state of being.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
know much of the neurology - The physical architecture of the brain in love</span><span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
know lots of the ecstasy - the blissful sensation of achieving totally mutual,
unconditional love...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I
know even more of the misery - the feeling like a physical tear in your heart when your love is not reciprocated... the torture of unrequited love....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
these are my credentials for exploring and writing about love...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-10393521938436082472014-07-10T20:33:00.003+01:002014-07-10T20:36:10.147+01:00Thought Field Therapy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Do you suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, stressful feelings when you have to do certain tasks or deal with certain people? Then why not give this a go!!</div>
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Recently, I was offered a session of Thought Field Therapy, by a friend and colleague. I'd heard that by "tapping" the meridian points, past trauma, anxiety and phobias could be healed in a single short session, typically lasting less than thirty minutes! </div>
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Thirty minutes! I hear you say! As opposed to weeks or even months of traditional counselling! Surely this is simply too good to be true!!</div>
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But I experienced it for myself. My own session lasted about ten minutes and took place in my lunch break between running two support groups. I can't explain really how it works, what I can say is, the anger and resentment and fear I had felt for years, when thinking about a particular experience I went through quite a long time ago, appears to have vanished. I keep waiting for the anxiety to re-emerge, or expecting to have nightmares about the trauma, but three weeks on, it seems to be gone. </div>
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Like most other therapists, I've had hundreds of hours of counselling in my time, mainly through my three year training period, and nothing has come close to the impact of this! I'm certainly thinking of training in it myself, because there are so many people who would benefit from this sort of, largely non-intrusive, therapy. I didn't even have to say much about what my own traumatic memory was about, I just had to recall it, in my own mind so that the feelings could be re-experienced. I went from an anxiety level of 7-8 to an anxiety level of 1-2!</div>
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I actually found a therapist who had posted a brief video online, and she talks you through the routine - so do try it yourself. I found I had the greatest success when I had a therapist actually there with me in the room. I was stunned with how effective it was.</div>
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I still am stunned... Give it a go...</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/g8nF8rdDxGs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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If anyone would like the contact details of the therapist I had a session with, whom I highly recommend, just email me or send me a message on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/jules.mackay" target="_blank">Facebook</a> or <a href="https://twitter.com/BienSoeur" target="_blank">Twitter</a> ,</div>
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-11393144008311413262014-05-01T23:16:00.002+01:002014-05-01T23:31:12.171+01:00Gaining deeper fulfilment in life by looking at the things that really matter to youI read a fascinating and insightful article recently, which sought to explore why so many people in the <i>liberated</i> western world might be feeling so unfulfilled in their lives, when we actually live in an age where there is so much opportunity open to us, far more than was open to generations who came before us.<br />
<br />
While most of us have to do some form of work, to some extent we are free to follow our own career path, we're no longer expected to have the same job our parents may have had, for instance or conform to societal norms - men can be primary school teachers and nurses, women can have a full career in the military, or on the sports field, or in the boardroom. Opportunities are still not entirely fair, but the situation has moved on unrecognisably from what people put up with thirty or forty years ago.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsWZYZE1Fx8m92V_sOAm6-48EKuZgppxXjfcmULRfB9oCrXVr7bdNw_l2w872FJqCP1EWCX0bhAPSX80i_EliO5Eanji9O7PM-H2QtOQVpo_WvjwxIIFIkpIEoDUbU1Fk2cKawUnMCeauQ/s1600/summer+fun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsWZYZE1Fx8m92V_sOAm6-48EKuZgppxXjfcmULRfB9oCrXVr7bdNw_l2w872FJqCP1EWCX0bhAPSX80i_EliO5Eanji9O7PM-H2QtOQVpo_WvjwxIIFIkpIEoDUbU1Fk2cKawUnMCeauQ/s1600/summer+fun.jpg" height="249" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Most of us, are sexually more liberated than our parents and grandparents were. With less anxiety over unwanted pregnancy and less stigma regarding abortion and single motherhood, women and men can choose to have or not have children, to suit their life circumstances.<br />
<br />
Thirty years ago, if you believed gay people, bisexual and transgender people should have the right to marry and raise a family together, your views were unlikely to have been shared by most people in your community, but these days, thanks to a lot of tireless campaigning to make society a more tolerant and emotionally richer place to exist, most of the people we live among, do agree with the Equal Marriage bill.<br />
<br />
There's less racism, less misogyny less religious oppression, we're free to travel all over the globe and we can go to college to study pretty much any subject that takes our fancy. We can communicate instantly with friends and loved ones anywhere in the world, we can even see their faces as we have conversations with them, we have relatively open access to sports stars, people from the world of music, the arts and politicians alike.<br />
<br />
We have access to more information than we could ever need or devour on any issue we're interested in and we can connect with that information at the click of a button, or increasingly, the tap of a screen, day or night and usually for free.<br />
<br />
So why do people report lower levels of satisfaction and contentment now, then studies before have revealed?<br />
<br />
One suggestion, is that people are trying to meet internal needs by fulfilling external goals. If I have a newer car, another pair of shoes, the latest iPhone, a prettier girlfriend, a richer husband, a better paid job, a nicer apartment, a thinner waist, a fuller bust, I will accept myself more, I will admire myself more, I will be happier. Well that is the belief. <br />
<br />
But our deeper needs, as human beings, are emotional, not material. Self-acceptance and respect can really only come from within, who you are and how you feel about yourself, not how you feel about a new BMW. You can't relate to a motor car, only do something with it or to it. A slimmer body or a new nose will not necessarily make you more desirable to the opposite sex, or the kinds of people you wish to be attractive to. Anxiety about needing to look a certain way might even change your natural personality and actually make you less desirable to some people. Promotion at work and a higher salary can bring added stress, longer hours and so on. If the money was the main attraction, which it often is when it comes to work, you might come to realise time with your family or friends was actually more valuable to you and start to resent the new job and bigger pay check.<br />
<br />
It is hard, if not impossible to achieve those deeper levels of satisfaction and fulfilment which give life meaning to you, from external factors, whatever the advertisers may tell us. But it is possible to look at the things you are focussing on, the physical goals and desires, and you can look at what emotion within yourself, you are hoping the object or new situation will evoke within you, and find different, deeper, more meaningful ways to achieve that need.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd1xbAhgPQfi6ON7_mvOL-XdhzUaatGo-NFHPCCbvlf9e4e4_wzNqmh7A4rE04lPp_TGgmBu3LMEtY-Sxk08p4Wb6iYTRWpz52peQV0y4asFIIcv9C5Dzf3ejA_cPhhYTjx5pPZ9F5d97u/s1600/hiker+_silhouette+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhd1xbAhgPQfi6ON7_mvOL-XdhzUaatGo-NFHPCCbvlf9e4e4_wzNqmh7A4rE04lPp_TGgmBu3LMEtY-Sxk08p4Wb6iYTRWpz52peQV0y4asFIIcv9C5Dzf3ejA_cPhhYTjx5pPZ9F5d97u/s1600/hiker+_silhouette+(1).jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a>A need to leave a relationship, might be more about a sense of internal entrapment. In what ways are you stopping yourself from feeling free, for someone else cannot enslave us, we carve our own prison bars.<br />
<br />
We can travel the world or study the universe and yet never understand ourselves, as if we are always searching for an answer out there, but the question is deep inside, so we're constantly trying to solve the wrong equation.<br />
Some people are so busy making plans, ticking off lists, too busy to stop and experience life in the present because everything is about achieving something in the future. The problem with searching for satisfaction in the future tense is, the future only exists as a concept, you cannot live in the future or love in the future. As soon as your perfect future has arrived, it's the present momentarily and then it is the past. As soon as the goal is reached, if often becomes meaningless.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvBCL8bFJyBEgDI9BUM9CBW74fXNyHamxsvoH8UnF0JO20WtSs5NnwCPC4dXyosykMWdpbzWFKppd7LD8Guw1lgejthxKZc-OVFsQLZu4ege0ckIL6Lvh29GByYAJzeAFLr40UK48ixAAh/s1600/MarilynMonroe-60.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvBCL8bFJyBEgDI9BUM9CBW74fXNyHamxsvoH8UnF0JO20WtSs5NnwCPC4dXyosykMWdpbzWFKppd7LD8Guw1lgejthxKZc-OVFsQLZu4ege0ckIL6Lvh29GByYAJzeAFLr40UK48ixAAh/s1600/MarilynMonroe-60.jpg" height="400" width="315" /></a>And others seem driven to try to find a state of being which is only ever happy with no darker emotions like disappointment and anger and irritation or guilt. But real lives are interactive and constantly changing from one second to the next. We cannot possibly control all those variables out there, which some endeavour to try to, we can only learn to accept the negative with the good stuff and to not mind that we had a row with the boyfriend when we were both tired or we arrived at work five minutes late because the bus broke down or our child was sick this morning. <br />
<br />
We have to learn to live with and love our bodies, the chances are, if we are a relaxed happy person our lover will adore our bodies and be too busy enjoying time with us to think for one moment about whether our breasts are exactly symmetrical or whether the woman next door is two dress sizes smaller. If he is so shallow he is more turned on by the label in your dress than the curves that hug that dress, perhaps he <i>should</i> start chatting up the women next door, he doesn't deserve you! You need to be with a man who loves you, the real you, that might mean your curves. For all the studies show most men don't actually fancy skinny women.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqCpOrFY_HBLVDYQD4U2wppRMKAT1do668NPvZ7qKd3ZAip9YixErWSf5chWpJ7YWakaJDsGRPbxTutVYOaaVu7U4vqKgL5bUfHotf3l-Why3PnPU067_-3pgdmFj5hnH_99JAcYqqUjrD/s1600/Two+young+men+lying+in+grass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqCpOrFY_HBLVDYQD4U2wppRMKAT1do668NPvZ7qKd3ZAip9YixErWSf5chWpJ7YWakaJDsGRPbxTutVYOaaVu7U4vqKgL5bUfHotf3l-Why3PnPU067_-3pgdmFj5hnH_99JAcYqqUjrD/s1600/Two+young+men+lying+in+grass.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
It's so easy, in these shallow times we live in, to convince ourselves we can only find lasting happiness through somehow <i>perfecting </i>ourselves or our lives. The sad reality is, many people spend so much time charging towards the end of the rainbow, they're simply too busy to lie in the grass for a while to marvel at the warmth of the sun and the deepness of the vast blue sky.bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-19228921122560966552014-04-15T13:30:00.002+01:002014-04-15T13:36:47.742+01:00Happy hubbies make for wedded bliss, finds Chicago survey<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.399999618530273px;"><i>While the following findings are probably, broadly speaking, true, it is a little simplistic and unfair to simply blame men for marriage break up. We would have to look at why husbands don't feel positive about their marriage and why they find it difficult to express positive feelings about and towards their wife. I suspect upbringing plays a large part in it. I also suspect most couples could benefit hugely and grow much closer just spending time relaxing together and talking, rather than the long hours at work and the busy social life that leaves little opportunity to just relax and enjoy being with this person you adore.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.399999618530273px;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.399999618530273px;"><i>There are times in any relationship when the going gets tough, that is in the very nature or love and life, but relationships (and individuals in those relationships) grow, far more working together to get through the bad times, than they ever do just enjoying the honeymoon period...</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18.399999618530273px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><b>Does the man make or break a marriage? Recent research suggests it may be so.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">See original article </span><a href="http://www.naturalnews.com/044678_successful_marriage_husbands_attitude.html#" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A team
of researchers from the University of Chicago claims that the health and
personality of the husband may be the key to avoiding conflict and maintaining
a happy marriage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Published
in the Journal of Marriage and Family, the research surveyed older adults who
participated in the National Social Life Health and Aging Project. It compared
and contrasted the characteristics of husbands and wives whose marriages had
lasted an average of 39 years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
results: When the husband showed a higher level of positivity, the wife in a
couple reported less marital conflict. Moreover, positivity levels had no
effect on the husbands' reports of conflict.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">The
nature of conflicts examined centered around whether a spouse is perceived as
making too many demands, perpetually criticizing, or getting on the other's
nerves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
particular study examined individual marriages, as opposed to married couples
in general. This allowed researchers to obtain reports on individual traits as
well as the quality of the marriage from each participant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Is
there a worthwhile point to this study?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It may
be helpful to understand how important a man's attitude and level of positivity
is. In fact, I can safely say that after 25 years of counseling and coaching,
in my experience women are much more likely to be positive and connected in
relationships than men are. Also, when a healthy, positive man is in the mix,
it is rare that there are serious marital difficulties. That's because the
majority of women reciprocate the positive attitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I can't
say the opposite is true, however. It is common for a healthy, positive woman
to be stuck with a negative, emotionally unavailable man who isn't interested
in making any self-improvements.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Still,
what's the point? On a practical level, this information might not be that
valuable. The point is, does your relationship respond well to an infusion of
positive energy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Here is
a good test to find out where you stand:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">1.
Without reservation, invest your conscious effort over time (at least a month),
focusing on your partner's positive attributes, giving warm feedback, showing
generosity and appreciation and being a GREAT person to be around. (If you
simply cannot do this, then you know where to begin - with your own attitude or
psychological attachments).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">2.
Notice what happens. Most likely, one of the following scenarios will occur:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">A. Your
partner will respond well, increasing happiness and fulfillment in your
relationship. This is a great sign. You now know what you can do to increase
your mutual joy and create positive loops in your relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">B. Your
partner will ignore you, not respond, or pretend not to notice your efforts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">C. Your
partner will actively resist your positive efforts, becoming even more negative
or troubled. He or she may even try to sabotage your good will.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">If you
know you've been a great partner, yet cannot create a positive emotional
connection, then there are deeper issues to look at. For example:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Boundaries
and respect<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are the
boundaries clear enough to honor each individual in the relationship, or are
you trying to control each other?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Self-Sabotage
and negative psychological attachments<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Self-Sabotage
compels people to do the opposite of what makes the happy. It is driven by
psychological attachments to old, familiar states of misery (like rejection and
humiliation) that we are not strong enough to let go of. We unwittingly
sabotage our happiness and chances for success by subconsciously clinging to an
old story, a familiar misery or what we've always known. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Compatibility<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">It
could be that you and your partner are simply not compatible. In other words,
it is nobody's fault. You just don't see life the same way, yet expect each
other to do just that. Of course, choosing and clinging to an incompatible
lover could be an perfect example of individual self-sabotage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-41992915036073026582014-02-02T12:42:00.001+00:002014-02-02T12:51:45.289+00:00Introduction to the Idealist Temperament - Teacher, Counselor, Champion, HealerHaving recently taken the Myers-Briggs Personality Type Indicator Test, which is based on Carl Jung's typological theories, I learned I was an INFJ - one of the rarest of the 16 personality types, said to account for between 1% - 3% of the population.<br />
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Classified as The Counselor, in the psychology book "Please Understand Me: Character and Temperament Types" by David Keirsey and Marilyn Bates, INFJ personalities are part of a group they categorise with an Idealist Temperament. <br />
<br />
This group includes:<br />
<br />
ENFJ - Teacher<br />
INFJ - Counselor<br />
ENFP - Champion<br />
INFP - Healer<br />
<br />
<br />
Take the Myers-Briggs test <a href="http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp" target="_blank">here</a> and discover what Personality Type you are!<br />
Learn more about the four Temperament Types <a href="http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/overview_temperaments.asp" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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You can learn more about those with an Idealist Temperament in these compelling little fact packed videos!<br />
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-28280364004795332932014-01-19T13:25:00.001+00:002014-01-20T12:49:27.441+00:00"The Celestine Prophecy" revisited, at fifty.Although Christmas was a bit hectic this year, I managed to make time to re-read "The Celestine Prophecy", a transcendental novel by James Redfield, which I first read back in 1994, when a friend passed it on to me. His neighbour had just brought it back from the States, and passed it onto the friend and his wife, and this is very a much a tradition with this particular book, which seeks to help the reader gain insight into the deeper levels of his own personality, and to the wider culture we live in. Inevitably, we used to spend hours discussing these new revelations, with the small community of close friends who had also read the novel, and in that sense, I guess we were like many groups of friends who found themselves engrossed in the unfolding story.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZn-xczj1hK_To0HZ0CQqFDJesw3y9aOQkNh65z2TMsP2Hgx-UEdVMe-_7zYeyKOjyvkT9WLKDZcaW1f_C8Gg5BVbo7Eh0kjD3X29bDE48rGtss2WPBoMMlHC0xuXYyqQk6XRu8Xu6mnHU/s1600/The+Celestine+Prophecy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZn-xczj1hK_To0HZ0CQqFDJesw3y9aOQkNh65z2TMsP2Hgx-UEdVMe-_7zYeyKOjyvkT9WLKDZcaW1f_C8Gg5BVbo7Eh0kjD3X29bDE48rGtss2WPBoMMlHC0xuXYyqQk6XRu8Xu6mnHU/s1600/The+Celestine+Prophecy.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a>It's often reviewed as a <i>life-changing book</i>, and in some ways it was for me to, back then. Although I had been interested in psychology since my twenties, and had been writing a personal development journal for a few years, (prompted by pregnancy and motherhood) this was the first time I found a really compelling explanation of how our past - particularly our childhood and our experiences of being parented - moulded our personalities and our lives and relationships with others, in the present. And it did feel empowering, to finally have a good understanding of that, for from that point on, I could recognise an Intimidator, an Interrogator, a Poor Me and an Aloof person. I realised I was <i>aloof</i>, not as a way to feel superior to people, but as a way of protecting myself from the aggression of others - if you don't let them in, there's a limit to how much damage they can do you. In a way, that served me well for years, but re-reading the novel over the holidays, I realised I had matured over the subsequent decades, and had become more confident, less of a victim, perhaps due to becoming a mother for parenthood seems to have an incredibly grounding affect on most of us. But it still takes me a good while to feel comfortable on a deeper level, with new acquaintances, many months in fact, as I gradually weigh up how genuine someone is, how dependable. I tend to feel more comfortable with people I have known for many years, I trust my own judgement, much more than the recommendation of others, and that was something I realised quite profoundly, as I re-explored the chapters and insights, one by one. As I reached the end of the book, I suddenly remembered I had promised myself, back then in 1994, I would take a trip to the rain forests of Peru, for my fiftieth birthday, right up into the Andes, to see the ancient Machu Picchu ruins for myself.<br />
<br />
On the whole, I don't like to categorise people, either personally or professionally. Human beings are complex creatures, there's good and bad in all of us, and ultimately it simply comes down to whether our own particular personality can embrace someone else's or whether it clashes with it. <br />
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There continues to be a growing interest in transpersonal psychology material, as people are starting to question the culture we live in, which is so heavily focussed on work, and material possessions and achieving financial success and professional status, very often at the expense of relationships and family life. <br />
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I was fifty last year, a lot of my friends and colleagues are in their fifties, and perhaps middle-age is a time when, having achieved a certain amount, in terms of our careers, and raising children successfully, we begin to seek a more deeply personal, psychological, maybe even spiritual sense of fulfilment. Gone are the days when a fifty year old man would suddenly feel the urge to sell the family Volvo and return home with sporty little TR7, on the whole, men have become much more enlightened, more self-aware in the past twenty years. But for most of us, men and women, there is something about reaching this point in our lives and realising that many of the dreams we had in our teens and twenties, got discarded along the way, as life required us to be sensible, responsible, reliable. <br />
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With our children maturing and starting to make their own way in the world, and a genuine sense of achievement and contentment from the role of parent, perhaps we can reconnect now, with that passionate soul we used to be, indeed, perhaps we <i>should.</i><br />
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-7856419295065548472014-01-13T23:43:00.000+00:002014-01-13T23:44:38.226+00:00Six of the best - inspiring, powerful short films you really should watch...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Lasting anything from fifteen seconds to forty-five minutes, short films can be a great way to perfect your craft and many are surprisingly powerful.</div>
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Here are six favourites, be warned, the last three contain distressing scenes...</div>
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<br />bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-23414494605707820082014-01-12T19:33:00.000+00:002018-04-27T21:05:33.952+01:00In this age of media and social and government oppression we need a coherent Arts movement, to unite a new Beat Generation<br />
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<i>When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars, then peace will guide the planets, and love will steer the stars... </i>So sang The 5th Dimension in the song "Aquarius" back in 1969. </div>
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For a few years in the 70s, there was a genuine sense of a growing counterculture as young people rejected the restrictive views and values of their parents' generation and seemed to want to create a more tolerant, more humane, more peaceful society. But aside from a few protests in favour of Civil Rights and against the Vietnam War, it largely came to nothing really, because sitting in a field naked and stoned ultimately doesn't challenge the establishment, it just sort of wastes a load of time and drugs tend to fuck with your mind, rather than focus it to get organised and embark on a credible programme to achieve genuine lasting change.<br />
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The Age of Aquarius is supposed to liberate us all, so that we might cast off the shackles of conservative conformity in our quest to discover the full joys of being human, the freedom to express ourselves, to fulfil ourselves as individuals, to connect with our fellow man and our environment. In this <i>actual</i><i> </i>age of sexually transmitted diseases, some of which are known to be resistant now to antibiotics, presumably no-one would really be endorsing free love as the 70s hippies were. No matter how enlightened and psychologically liberated I became, I cannot imagine shagging all the gents and half the women in my community, with no consideration for physical or emotional commitment, some things are just clearly a very bad idea!</div>
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Most people seem to subscribe to the view that the Age of Aquarius hasn't actually started yet and won't do for a few hundred years, but some claim it began in 2012. If it did, there certainly doesn't seem to be any feeling of liberation so far. The vast majority of us still seem to be living under a cloud of extreme social and political oppression, more so than ever in my lifetime really. Those who don't conform to current social norms are portrayed in the mainstream media as deviant - for which read <i>eccentric </i>if you're rich or <i>a threat to the lives of decent hard-working families </i>if you don't happen to be loaded. </div>
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We also live in the Age of Litigation, where the full might of the law is frequently used against anyone expressing a view which really challenges government and the corporations who fund political parties, and this has inevitably seeped through into popular culture, art and drama. Seldom will you discover a TV drama or radio play with a negative message about the establishment. Not so long ago you might have been able to watch a prime time UK drama which portrayed government ministers as corrupt, specifically identifying the characters as corrupt <i>Tory </i>politicians. That seems much less likely now, as programme makers err on the side of caution, at the expense of compelling, gritty drama to get public debate going. And even more worrying, documentary series actively demonise anyone not conforming to the established model of family life and those horrid, judgemental, voyeuristic programmes frequently attract high viewing figures.</div>
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But there must be an enormous number of writers and artists, musicians and actors and poets and dancers, who certainly don't share this narrow <i>Daily Mail </i>definition of what life should be, and we perhaps need to establish a coherent movement to challenge the intolerance and bigotry the viewing public has become used to sitting in front of, without questioning any of the messages they're being fed, night in, night out.</div>
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Scotland has the <a href="http://nationalcollective.com/about-us/" target="_blank">National Collective </a>, a movement for artists and creatives prepared to challenge the political establishment, in this case, united specifically in their support for Scottish independence, and we could perhaps be inspired and encouraged by that to form our own Arts movement for people who seek to challenge the status quo in a broader sense, a bit like the Beat Generation of writers in the 50s and 60s.</div>
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If you already know of such collectives please feel free to post links to these groups in the comments section below and perhaps we can start to join up a few of the dots, and build something meaningful and lasting together.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/fpJZ9j52X2I?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-32144845758318290642014-01-06T12:37:00.001+00:002014-01-06T12:40:29.346+00:00An increasing number of people are becoming interested in Mindfulness, in their quest to reduce stress and anxiety in daily life.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: large;">The following is taken from The Mental Health Foundation website - the original article can be found <a href="http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/M/mindfulness/" target="_blank">here</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;"><b>Mindfulness
is a mind-body based approach that helps people change the way they think and
feel about their experiences, especially stressful experiences.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Mindfulness
exercises or mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) are ways of paying
attention to the present moment, using techniques like meditation, breathing
and yoga. Mindfulness training helps us become more aware of our thoughts and
feelings so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, we're better able to
manage them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">It's
been known for millennia that the way we think and the way we handle how we
feel plays a big part in mental health. Taking a mindfulness course can give
people more insight into their emotions, boost their attention and
concentration and improve relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">MBCT
is recommended by the National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) for the
prevention of relapse in recurrent depression. It combines mindfulness
techniques like meditation, breathing exercises and stretching with elements
from cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) to help break the negative thought
patterns that are characteristic of recurrent depression. Mindfulness is a
potentially life-changing way to alter our feelings in positive ways, and an
ever-expanding body of evidence shows that it really works.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Evidence<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Mindfulness
meditation has been shown to affect how the brain works and even its structure.
People undertaking mindfulness training have shown increased activity in the
area of the brain associated with positive emotion – the pre-frontal cortex –
which is generally less active in people who are depressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">More
than 100 studies have shown changes in brain wave activity during meditation
and researchers have found that areas of the brain linked to emotional
regulation are larger in people who have meditated regularly for five years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Research
shows that Mindfulness can help with:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">recurrent
depression<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">anxiety
disorders<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">addictive
behaviour<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">stress<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">chronic
pain<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">chronic
fatigue syndrome<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">insomnia<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">plus
more mental and physical problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">There
is growing evidence that Mindfulness in the workplace can improve productivity
and decrease sickness absence, and increasingly employers are looking to
benefit from its effect on workplace wellbeing. Find out more at Mindfulnet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Almost
three-quarters of GPs think mindfulness meditation would be helpful for people
with mental health problems, and a third already refer patients to MBCT on a
regular basis. (Source: ICM survey June 2009 of 250 GPs). With the increase in
talking therapies being instigated across the UK this is something that you can
raise and discuss with your GP.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Benefitting
from mindfulness therapies<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">MBCT
is usually a weekly course of classes taught over two months, but there are
also online courses available that can be done in your own time, at home or
even at work. These courses teach people how to manage their thoughts and
feelings in a way that makes depression less likely to occur.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Such
treatment has been shown to cut relapse rates in half for recurrent depression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Find
out more about mindfulness and its benefits on the Be Mindful website, where
you can:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">watch
videos and listen to podcasts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">find
out about courses in your area<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">share
your experience of mindfulness at the The Oxford Mindfulness Centre<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">give
your support for increased access to mindfulness therapy on the NHS.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Mindfulness
courses don’t require any religious or spiritual beliefs. Mindfulness is
suitable for, and can help people with any religious beliefs or people with
none at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Whether
you want to learn new techniques for coping with stress in the workplace or at
home, manage anxiety or depression or improve your concentration, energy levels
and enjoyment of life, Mindfulness is a valuable tool. In fact, mindfulness
meditation can have such a positive impact on our mental and physical
well-being that many GPs say that all people could benefit from learning the
techniques.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: large;">Three videos on Mindfulness:</span></div>
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<br />bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-77281039766134893202014-01-05T21:31:00.000+00:002018-05-06T08:45:47.337+01:00What causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end, to suddenly turn into conflict? As explained in "The Celestine Prophecy" <span style="font-size: large;"><i>Over the holidays I have been revisiting the transcendental psychology novel, "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield, which I first read with friends from a local village back in 1994, twenty years ago. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Back then we would meet up and discuss the various insights and how we could apply them to our own personalities, our past and our present lives, and it is so interesting now to see how much of this learning I adopted and incorporated into my own life, even though the book seems to have a religious message and I am a lifelong agnostic.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>I highly encourage people to read the novel or listen to it as an audio book (particularly good to relax with at the end of the day). Allow me to share some of my notes and observations, all these years on.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>What
causes the bliss and euphoria of love to end, to suddenly turn into conflict? </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
is explained in "The Celestine Prophecy" as addiction to another person, and
ventures into Jungian territory (and even Freudian) for those of you who
follow their teachings... <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When
love first happens, the two individuals are giving each other energy
unconsciously and both people feel buoyant and elated. That's the incredible
high we all call being in love.... They cut themselves off from others, from
the universe and seek to gain all their energy from one person, which is
unsustainable and eventually each stops giving so much energy and reverts to
old psycho dramas to seek to control the other, forcing the lover's energy
their way. At this point the relationship degenerates into the usual power
struggle. The problem starts in our early family life, because most of us were
not given enough positive energy - attention from adults - none of us were able
to complete an important psychological process, we weren't able to integrate
our opposite sexual side, and the reason we can become addicted to someone of
the opposite sex, is that we are yet to access this opposite sex energy
ourselves. We mistakenly think the only way of having the opposite sex energy
we crave, is to possess someone sexually and keeping them close to us
physically (as a child might with their opposite sex parent). The problem is,
most parents are competing with their own children for energy, within a family,
because we are looking for this opposite sex energy externally in another
human being rather than finding it within ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Make
any sense?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">So it
also talks about the way when we're perhaps younger and we fall in love we're looking
for someone else to be our "other half" to "complete us" is
a phrase we often hear, and relationships like this, where the individuals are
perhaps quite needy, are destined to fail unless one person is prepared to
submit to the other and let them dominate the relationship and decisions. It can
never be a mature mutual relationship if we don't feel complete ourselves, if
we haven't yet learned to love ourselves and value who and what we are.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Often, you find a couple where one person is shy and the other very confident, one is
exceptionally attractive and the other very plain, one academic and the other
not so intellectually bright. It is sometimes thought that these opposites
attract in a very natural and positive way, but in fact each individual is seeking to compensate for their lack
of attractiveness or lack of confidence and so on, by bonding with someone who
has qualities they wish they themselves possessed. And it never really works,
this idea of someone completing us, because you ultimately have two halves of a
person making up one whole and that whole has two heads... two egos...
eventually they start pulling in opposite directions in their desire to gain
and maintain energy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">And so
often people get romantically involved without first building a solid
foundation of a strong platonic friendship. This is needed because it is the
only way a couple can build a deeper level of trust. Going to bed with someone
before you have established this level of trust tends to result in nervousness
(unless you're drunk) because you're naked, physically and emotionally, and you
don't know this person well enough really to be that intimate with them, you
have no idea really if they will turn around and laugh at you. Often there is
embarrassment in these sexual encounters. If you feel embarrassed when you're
in bed with someone, it's far too soon and any relationship is highly unlikely
to last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Link to James Redfield's Celestine Vision <a href="http://www.celestinevision.com/" target="_blank">site</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "tahoma" , "sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">You can buy "The Celestine Prophecy" <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Celestine-Prophecy-Adventure-James-Redfield/dp/0553409026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1388957213&sr=1-1&keywords=the+celestine+prophecy" target="_blank">here. </a></span></div>
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-22462550736466930662013-12-31T18:45:00.000+00:002014-01-09T19:13:12.079+00:00 Best of 2013 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My personal Best of, for 2013... Five stars to all of the following:</div>
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Television drama of 2013</div>
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/mediapacks/mayday/" target="_blank">BBC One - Mayday</a></div>
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Radio drama of 2013</div>
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/proginfo/2013/27/r4-gregory-affair.html" target="_blank">BBC R4 - Paul Temple and the Gregory Affair</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnZWWrKUpY5_sIiCLgk-8JoU8jb7Lc15dnRwIcSWxZRY43cfAM1suO4_pRvbo4wIZJ4z-ddnCYK_BH51lORDvQvg51efQbqbWBbm3R8OBGXqhmhx3ZPuIDR0GjiLeo01O1hIc7xzcc1OV/s1600/paul+temple+and+the+gregory+affair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnZWWrKUpY5_sIiCLgk-8JoU8jb7Lc15dnRwIcSWxZRY43cfAM1suO4_pRvbo4wIZJ4z-ddnCYK_BH51lORDvQvg51efQbqbWBbm3R8OBGXqhmhx3ZPuIDR0GjiLeo01O1hIc7xzcc1OV/s320/paul+temple+and+the+gregory+affair.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Novel of 2013</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Return-Stones-Jeremy-Burnham/dp/1781960895/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1388509500&sr=8-1&keywords=return+to+the+stones" target="_blank">Return to the Stones - Jeremy Burnham</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNHkLM4O0WF_rqqUcj0NTdYRd3WBJH7fFw88Ps1yBQ28mfh-AZRH8nQr8syS1spZKshZr_KahcmA3_QXcNE22MNDg7pcwENnKq6vnv2jisCYJMWEaYbVQjSnSRNnPFOCpt4v_vyiip92aP/s1600/Return+to+the+Stones+jeremy+burnham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNHkLM4O0WF_rqqUcj0NTdYRd3WBJH7fFw88Ps1yBQ28mfh-AZRH8nQr8syS1spZKshZr_KahcmA3_QXcNE22MNDg7pcwENnKq6vnv2jisCYJMWEaYbVQjSnSRNnPFOCpt4v_vyiip92aP/s320/Return+to+the+Stones+jeremy+burnham.jpg" height="320" width="247" /></a></div>
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Photographer of 2013 </div>
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<a href="http://www.facebook.com/jamieglendayphotography" target="_blank">Jamie Glenday</a></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PkZ7Khyphenhyphen40y0U-c4rmXIU5n3gwZGMgCLTBexStN_f_tF78kv2PxgYUnq6gA7ez1ABBVOQObMuKamEuaC6c2IdAXrXyugwt_QMw53u4kULoDlD1La0eqchm7Pie9vXsKGWv475m-CssvDC/s1600/936564_10153568469565858_490881973_n+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2PkZ7Khyphenhyphen40y0U-c4rmXIU5n3gwZGMgCLTBexStN_f_tF78kv2PxgYUnq6gA7ez1ABBVOQObMuKamEuaC6c2IdAXrXyugwt_QMw53u4kULoDlD1La0eqchm7Pie9vXsKGWv475m-CssvDC/s320/936564_10153568469565858_490881973_n+(1).jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table>
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Musician of 2013 </div>
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<a href="http://www.worldcello.com/" target="_blank">Adam Hurst</a></div>
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Track "Wilderness" from the album "Nightfall"</div>
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Comedian of 2013 - I can't split these two, I love them both</div>
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<a href="http://barrycastagnola.com/biography/" target="_blank">Barry Catagnola</a></div>
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and </div>
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<a href="http://foolingnobody.blogspot.co.uk/" target="_blank">Marc Wootton</a></div>
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<b>Some memorable moments of 2013</b></div>
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Street parties celebrated the death of much loathed former Prime Minister,</div>
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Margaret Thatcher, who died in April</div>
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<h1 class="yt" id="watch-headline-title" style="border: 0px; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px 0px 5px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; word-wrap: normal;">
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Soweto Gospel Choir paid a beautiful tribute to much loved fomer President, </div>
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Nelson Mandela, who died in December</div>
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-64866253075279136982013-12-26T14:34:00.001+00:002013-12-26T14:38:10.725+00:00Irritating tips and Christmas advice!Searching for a good article about coping with stress and anxiety at Christmas, to share with clients, I was amazed with the amount of patronising rubbish I ended up reading, no doubt written by people with plenty of money and in very good health. On the whole, I didn't find advice like this especially helpful or reassuring.<br />
<br />
Here's a selection that actually made me more stressed and annoyed, than I was before I read them!<br />
<br />
<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5VHdD3XgqPCxMr1UwSTpHUl6GJN3cDfHo97W4GoCMNlN_fpr7d34njiUDel8waLOollMXSGvynkFNkZq3MpJ08IkO4kJpcU7lmvJWHod3DBWelB3JHnbFPmjlCvDYEs4Z-82Z-39Y7p1/s1600/b+w+christmas+scrabble_1211577c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG5VHdD3XgqPCxMr1UwSTpHUl6GJN3cDfHo97W4GoCMNlN_fpr7d34njiUDel8waLOollMXSGvynkFNkZq3MpJ08IkO4kJpcU7lmvJWHod3DBWelB3JHnbFPmjlCvDYEs4Z-82Z-39Y7p1/s400/b+w+christmas+scrabble_1211577c.jpg" width="400" /></a>
<li>Budget sensibly - Just because all your son's friends are getting an Xbox One, that doesn't mean he's entitled to one, particularly if you're a less well off family. Explain to your children that Christmas has become too commercialised, educate them about the dangers of violent games such as Grand Theft Auto and show them how to have good old fashioned family fun by getting out your old Monopoly board. (<i>Actually, a recent survey found arguments erupted in a whopping 46% of families that played Monopoly over Christmas. Scrabble accounted for family feuds in 23% of households that played the word game! To date, there is no clinical evidence that playing GTA leads to violence or anti-social behaviour.</i>)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Make a pledge that this festive season you will not smoke, drink or eat any of those tempting but oh so naughty Christmas treats, which won't make you happy, they will merely increase your risk of cancer, heart disease and type two diabetes. (<i>Could have been written by Iain Duncan Smith, himself!!</i>)</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Avoid the stress of sleeping in your childhood bedroom at your stepfather's house by booking into a nice nearby hotel for a couple of nights, therefore turning a dreaded family event into a Christmas treat. (<i>Hang on, I thought you said we should budget better! If we skipped putting the family up in a 4 star hotel, we could afford little Jake's Xbox!!</i>)</li>
</ul>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivb7OKHKC2sCx_q8Yi5lemYjUh1ZLRqQKCWR244wS1IsPbIwnrf9K2uvPixDeFvHSOCPO6uQnAZmoYqVvRG0iDZbcavCd-eCi3SMVn-6Q6xhWu9vz0Qq5WXK2iiRIh3IRfK8sRmQaO4LVA/s1600/Christmas+walk+in+woods.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivb7OKHKC2sCx_q8Yi5lemYjUh1ZLRqQKCWR244wS1IsPbIwnrf9K2uvPixDeFvHSOCPO6uQnAZmoYqVvRG0iDZbcavCd-eCi3SMVn-6Q6xhWu9vz0Qq5WXK2iiRIh3IRfK8sRmQaO4LVA/s400/Christmas+walk+in+woods.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li>Instead of vegging out in front of the television with a tin of Quality Street for two days, get yourself outside for a long brisk walk in the countryside. The exercise and fresh air will burn off those extra Christmas calories, improve your mood and wear you out - a much more healthy aid to sleep than those habit forming tablets! (<i>Not too sure how this would work for those with mobility problems or people living in the city - sadly we don't all live within walking distance of a country estate!</i>)</li>
</ul>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Remember, Christmas is just one day, don't get stressed out if every present isn't perfect, or the custard on your trifle doesn't set properly. It's just one day! There's always next year! (<i>Words fail me!!!</i>)</li>
</ul>
</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-56671597266387607772013-12-22T20:52:00.000+00:002013-12-22T20:57:27.198+00:00Could LSD and Ecstasy be effectively used to treat PTSD? - THE MAGICAL MYSTERY CURE - Richard Shrubb article from May 2013<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><i>In May 2013, Richard
Shrubb reported for Therapy Today, on controversial trials that use Class A drugs such as LSD and
ecstasy to treat depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">A small
number of pioneering psychiatrists, psychologists and psychotherapists are
researching how certain Class A drugs can be used with very positive effect to
help people with severe, chronic psychological and emotional health problems.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Despite
the practical and legal difficulties, pilot trials are currently under way into
the use of LSD, pure MDMA (ecstasy) and psilocybin (magic mushrooms) as an
adjunct to conventional talking therapies for the treatment of post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD) and in end-of-life care. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The
therapeutic use of banned drugs has featured in the UK national media headlines
in recent months, thanks to the outspoken David Nutt, Professor of
Neuropsychopharmacology at Imperial College London and former Chair of the
Government’s Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs. He was sacked from the
Advisory Council in 2009 after declaring that ecstasy was less dangerous than
horse riding (in terms of adverse incidents per use). In a subsequent paper he
classified drugs according to the harm they caused; alcohol and tobacco emerged
as more harmful than ecstasy and cannabis. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In
September last year, he, with Val Curran, professor of psychology at University
College London, joined forces with Channel 4 to film some of the participants
(including the novelist Lionel Shriver) in a study that used fMRI imaging to
examine the effects of MDMA on the brain. In April this year, in his
presentation to the British Neuroscience Association’s biennial conference, he
roundly condemned the British Government for blocking attempts to develop more effective
treatments for depression with what he says are its ‘irrational’ drugs
laws. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Nutt
wants to research the use of the chemical psilocybin, the psychedelic
ingredient in magic mushrooms, which he says can suppress activity in the parts
of the brain that are overactive in severely depressed people. But, because
magic mushrooms are a Class A drug, their active chemical ingredient cannot be
manufactured without a special licence. Despite a grant of £550,000 from the
Medical Research Council to begin a three-year project to test the drug on
people with depression, Nutt and his team have been unable to progress because
they can’t get the comparatively small amount of the drug needed to conduct
their trials. It isn’t easy to find companies who can manufacture the drug and
are prepared to stump up the estimated £100,000 and go through all the bureaucratic
hoops to get a licence. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Nutt’s
research has already established that psilocybin appears to switch off the
ruminative parts of the brain that are overactive in people with depression.
‘We badly need more types of treatment [for depression] but we cannot pursue
these because the Government is denying scientists access to powerful tools
that could help people in need,’ Nutt told the conference. ‘The whole field is
so bedevilled by primitive old-fashioned attitudes. Even if you have a good
idea, you may never get it into the clinic, it seems.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">MDMA
and PTSD<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Post-traumatic
stress disorder (PTSD) is notoriously difficult to treat, and a condition for
which almost no drugs are being developed. Psychotherapy is generally regarded
as the treatment of choice for the condition. NICE guidance recommends: ‘All
people with PTSD should be offered a course of trauma-focused psychological
treatment (trauma-focused CBT or EMDR)’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">At the
heart of PTSD is the issue of avoidance: the patient finds the experience too
difficult to face and is therefore unable to process it. Clinical trials are
being conducted in Israel, the US, Canada and Switzerland into the use of
MDMA-assisted psychotherapy to treat PTSD. The trials are funded fully or in
part by the US-based charity Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic
Studies (MAPS), a research and educational organisation dedicated to promoting
use of psychedelics and marijuana for therapeutic purposes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">South
Carolina-based psychotherapist Michael Mithoefer is leading one of the trials.
Mithoefer, a psychiatrist by training, believes that MDMA can open doors in the
mind, whether the person wants it or not. The MDMA-assisted therapy sessions
are eight hours long, with two therapists present – generally a male and a female
so the client can talk to either, as they prefer. Though an apparently intense
session – 45 minutes can be a lot for most patients in traditional non-drug
psychotherapy – it is designed to be completely relaxed and without pressure. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">It
takes place in a non-clinical setting and, as the drug takes effect and the
session progresses, the client finds him/herself talking naturally about the
stressor that is causing them so much trouble. ‘We have an agreement with the
client that if nothing comes up during the session at a certain point, the
therapist can engage them. This has never happened yet,’ Mithoefer says. Few of
the clients found taking MDMA an ‘ecstatic experience’, according to Mithoefer,
and all have been able to both face the trauma and not be traumatised by doing
so. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Outcomes
to date indicate that MDMA-assisted psychotherapy is achieving results.1, 2
Twenty patients with chronic PTSD that had not responded to other forms of
psychotherapy and drug treatment were randomly assigned to psychotherapy with
MDMA or a placebo. The participants had suffered PTSD for an average of 19
years. Most of those who underwent the MDMA-assisted therapy had not relapsed
3.5 years later. Four out of five of the MDMA treatment group improved,
compared with just one in four of those in the placebo group. The study found
no evidence of drug-related serious side effects or adverse neurocognitive
effects and concluded that MDMA can be given safely to people with PTSD, and
may be particularly useful for those who have not responded to other
treatments.2<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Stephen
Joseph, Professor of Psychology, Health and Social Care at the University of
Nottingham, is sceptical. He has pioneered psychological techniques to treat
PTSD and is the author of What Doesn’t Kill Us: a guide to moving forward and
overcoming adversity, on post-traumatic growth. He argues: ‘In a nurturing,
supportive environment, people can let go. If you rush them they will become
more avoidant. You have to build up the client’s trust over a couple of
months.’ Indeed, ‘it is important to spend a lot of time not talking about
their trauma’. Joseph is concerned about the use of any kind of drug to treat
PTSD: ‘PTSD is not a psychiatric disorder – it is more of a bereavement. You
cannot medicate an existential crisis.’ But he is prepared to be convinced:
‘I’d be interested to see where we are when the research is complete in 10
years. I may well be surprised.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">MDMA
and social anxiety<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The US
Food and Drug Administration (FDA) is currently considering an application from
MAPS to conduct an MDMA-assisted psychotherapy trial for social anxiety among
autistic adults. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Dr
Berra Yazar-Klosinski, Lead Clinical Research Assistant at MAPS, says there is
a lot of anecdotal data suggesting that MDMA can help with social anxiety, ‘although
there is little hard science on the subject’.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Put
very simply, MAPS is arguing that MDMA can address social anxiety by reducing
the individual’s reactions to negative social interactions and enhancing the
feel-good effect of positive interactions. The treatments are once or twice
only, several weeks apart. There is no suggestion that people should be
regularly dosed with MDMA, like an antidepressant or antipsychotic. The theory
is that MDMA is a ‘teacher’, not a ‘helper’. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Julian,
a Londoner who has Asperger’s, has taken MDMA at raves and confirms this
effect: ‘It seems to help filter out the signals you normally get, teaching you
how others see social interaction.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">To help
design the pilot study, MAPS brought in Nick Walker, who has autism and has
taken MDMA recreationally. A teacher on the Interdisciplinary Studies programme
at California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco, Walker says:
‘Though MDMA is empathogenic for most who take it, the theory that autistic
people lack empathy is complete rubbish.’ He feels that social anxiety results
from the power imbalance imposed on the autistic by ‘neurotypical’ mainstream
society. ‘Autistic people are generally bullied at school and misunderstood as
children. By their adolescence and adulthood they are traumatised from being
taught they are somehow wrong. MDMA makes you warm and welcoming. It helps you
get involved in others’ interests. How do you share your interests? By getting
over your social fear.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">LSD-assisted
therapy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Dr
Peter Gasser was able to practise psychedelic assisted psychotherapy in the
1990s under licence in Switzerland, as a member of the Swiss Association of
Psychedelic Therapists. The licence was revoked when LSD and other psychedelics
were banned even for medical use in 1993, but Gasser has since been given a
licence to run a clinical trial into its use in end-of-life psychotherapy,
partly sponsored by MAPS.3 The results have yet to be published. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Taking
LSD is a very intense and transformative, almost religious experience,
according to research assistant Katharina Kirchner, who worked with Gasser and
wrote her Master’s thesis on LSD-assisted end-of-life psychotherapy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Many
writers over the years have likened the experience of taking LSD to Eastern
mystic religious experiences. Kirchner challenges this: ‘Those who have the
language of the Eastern mystic experience speak of an LSD trip on those terms.
An ordinary person from a village in Switzerland or Germany doesn’t have that
language to use, so describes their experience on the terms they have for
reference.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Kirchner
practises meditation and describes the LSD experience as like ‘taking a train
to a peak meditative experience. You arrive in under an hour where through
learning meditation it sometimes takes years to achieve that destination – not
unlike walking’. One participant had a horrifying experience in the first trip,
which they described as ‘… really black, the black side. I was afraid, was
shaking [...] Really it was a total strain, no way out, no escaping.’ They had
reservations about taking the next trip but this proved more positive:
‘Suddenly there came a phase of relaxation. Completely detached. It became
bright. Everything was light. It is a pleasant feeling, a warm feeling. No
pain. Almost like floating, like being carried, and together with the music…
really wonderful…’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The
protocol for the Gasser clinical trial explains that psychotherapy will take
place before, during and after the LSD session. During the experience, ‘as
appropriate, the investigators will engage with the participant to support and
encourage emotional processing and resolution of whatever psychological
material is emerging. The investigators will also encourage periods of time in
which the participant remains silent with eyes closed and with attention
focused introspectively on his or her sense of self and life history in order
to increase the psychological insights mediated by the LSD treatment’.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Very
simply, there are two forms of experience, depending on the dose of LSD. A low
dose is known as ‘psycholytic’ – it is still intense and transformative, but
the client doesn’t ‘leave the planet’ or hallucinate bright lights, for
instance. The other dose is a ‘psychedelic’ experience and will result in
complete release from reality. Kirchner says 300 microgrammes in most cases
will bring about a psycholytic experience, depending on the person’s body
weight, health and stage of illness; 400mcg is the minimum needed to achieve a
peak psychedelic experience in a healthy adult of a typical weight. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">The
therapy environment itself is similar to that for MDMA-assisted therapy: a
calm, relaxing and non-clinical setting. The patient wears a blindfold and can
choose to listen to music. They are given the LSD under the supervision of two
therapists. Kirchner says: ‘Therapists are there to guide you through the
experience and help along the way.’ After the trip has worn off, the client
goes to bed and is left to sleep overnight – although a therapist is there for
them to speak to if they wish at any time. Kirchner explains: ‘Patients often
just need time to process their experience and understand what they have seen
and felt.’ They receive talking therapy the next day, but again in a
non-traditional way – the therapist is there simply to listen and help the
person articulate what they felt, heard and saw, not to interpret or analyse
it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">In her
thesis Kirchner argues that LSD opens the individual’s mind to a different
viewpoint and way of thinking while they remain conscious, so they gain a
different perspective on the seemingly intractable issue (for example, their
impending death) facing them. Brad Burge, Director of Communications at MAPS,
puts it more simply: ‘With end of life therapy one comes to the understanding
that “I do not end where my body ends”.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">As the
end-of-life research progresses, the hope is that enough scientific evidence
will be gathered to break through the social and legal barriers that are
currently blocking the therapeutic application of these and other so-called recreational
drugs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Case
study: ‘By letting go I regained my mind’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Mikee
(not his real name) was a Forward Air Controller for the US Army during the
Surge in Iraq in 2006-07. He had to get artillery and air strikes signed off by
officers. ‘There were so many career officers in it for themselves that would
not sign off strikes when I deemed them necessary that I had to sit by while 20
men were killed in six months whose lives I could have saved.’<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">PTSD is
severely stigmatised in the US Army, particularly among elite soldiers like
Mikee. Until he was medically discharged with a broken back, and his behaviour
in civilian life forced his hand, he wouldn’t admit his problems. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">‘As a
soldier your mind controls everything. You live in the next five seconds in a
structure that controls everything you do. In civilian life there is no control
of your life,’ says Mikee. He became violent on several occasions and had
difficulty reintegrating with civilian life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">For
Mikee, taking MDMA allowed him to let go of the control, which allowed him to
understand what was going on for him. ‘The feeling initially was extreme
anxiety as I was about to come up on the drug, but when I became high I was
only anxious when I had a thought about my past and didn’t talk about it. When
I talked about the thing, in my head I relaxed. By letting go and no longer
being in control, I regained my mind.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Asked
how he has changed, Mikee says: ‘I feel as if I have grown as a person. What
doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Mikee
is now going to medical school to learn to be a doctor. He wants to study
psychedelics as part of therapy and help his former buddies cope with civilian
life when they too leave the Armed Forces.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Link to original article:</b> <a href="http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/3703/" target="_blank">http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/3703/</a></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Related video: HORIZONS Psychedelics Forum: Treating PTSD with MDMA-assisted therapy</b></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/-WuO9AkyknU" width="459"></iframe></div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-61068426372359655122013-12-16T08:29:00.001+00:002013-12-16T08:51:43.443+00:00Powerful messages to unite those oppressed by this government - Brilliant Mark Steel clips.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Mark Steel is someone who has consistently used his public voice to speak out and reject the government's brutal austerity cuts. Through his column in The Independent, his online blog and Twitter, he continues to express intelligent objection to the damage being inflicted on the great mass of the British public, by people who are already obscenely rich and who seek to make themselves ever more wealthy, at the expense of the poor and needy.</div>
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One of his most powerful messages, is that things <i>can </i>change, relatively quickly, if people find the courage to unite behind a good campaign, despite some arguing change away from a selfish capitalist society will take too long. He reminds us that twenty years ago, if you thought people of the same sex should have the right to get married, just as a heterosexual couple could, it's likely you may have been considered to have extreme views away from the centre ground. Today, twenty years on,if you object to the right to same sex marriage, you are now considered an extremist with views and values which have no place in modern society.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And he talks of a time, in the not so distant future, when people will look back and be horrified at these attacks on people's lives and their communities, and question why it was allowed to carry on, so brutally, and for so long, relatively unopposed. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Here is a small handful of his many and varied appearances, standing up for the poor, challenging government policy and encouraging people to unite against this oppression. After all, we still have another seventeen months to go until we get the chance to vote the Tories out of office. </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/jw8a-eBCb1A?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<b>Contemporary literature which deals with the same political issues and concerns:</b></div>
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#FEAR by J A Maidley, is a dystopian novella set against a political backdrop in near-future Britain. The story serves as a warning of the dangers when we allow government oppression to go on, year after year, largely unopposed. You can read a sample <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/FEAR-J-A-Maidley-ebook/dp/B00DNOXGL0/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1387183356&sr=1-2&keywords=j+a+maidley" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-24734064861898986212013-12-14T22:43:00.002+00:002013-12-14T22:45:14.491+00:00Three fascinating lectures by Professor Glenn D. Wilson - on Sex, Sleep and Creativity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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Whatever Turns You On - Professor Glenn D. Wilson</div>
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Sleep and Dreams - Professor Glenn D. Wilson</div>
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Genius or Madness- the Psychology of Creativity - Professor Glenn D. Wilson</div>
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<br />bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-9245269438474663532013-12-13T00:25:00.001+00:002014-08-24T13:25:21.223+01:00Test your psychopathic traits - Channel 4 Psychopath Night<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Channel
4 are running a fascinating feature on the psychopathic mind.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijh53S28VjuXAam1-4b9X0k3IXEcPyITl4sUow-relLZL2HJnpGaSjq69LIPFp91Tpf4Yesy1O_D0zDYtdgNABFaI39mKNGPGIWm-sk79FwHL1bbeMELWw26hlHls7UZ9OavSFdAorZglq/s1600/psycho+norman+bates.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijh53S28VjuXAam1-4b9X0k3IXEcPyITl4sUow-relLZL2HJnpGaSjq69LIPFp91Tpf4Yesy1O_D0zDYtdgNABFaI39mKNGPGIWm-sk79FwHL1bbeMELWw26hlHls7UZ9OavSFdAorZglq/s640/psycho+norman+bates.jpg" height="304" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Psychopathy
is a condition that causes people to display anti-social behaviour, lack of
empathy and remorse, and fearless dominance. Find out more <a href="http://www.channel4.com/programmes/psychopath-night" target="_blank">here.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Everyone
has these characteristics to some degree - take the test and find out where you
sit on the spectrum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Take
the test <a href="http://www.channel4.com/programmes/psychopath-night" target="_blank">here.</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">I took the test myself...</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;"><b>YOUR
SCORE - 12%</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">You are
warm and empathic with a heightened awareness of social responsibility and a
strong sense of conscience. You like to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of
a situation before you act and are generally averse to taking risks. You are
very much a ‘people person’ and dislike conflict. ‘Do unto others…’ are your
watchwords. But, although you avoid hurting others, those residing at the
higher end of the psychopathic spectrum might not be as considerate, so stay
vigilant to avoid being hurt unnecessarily.<span style="font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br />
A fairly typical result, I imagine, for a counsellor and a novelist...<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt;">There's also a spot the psychopath game <a href="http://www.channel4.com/programmes/psychopath-night" target="_blank">here.</a><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-48326503206817483902013-11-29T17:12:00.001+00:002018-04-12T20:22:39.863+01:00How to write about, and portray sex in fiction."Like many younger readers who had not yet experienced sex, except with myself, I was deeply misled by 'Lady Chatterley's Lover', which seemed to insist that running naked through damp undergrowth, with wild flowers entwined in your pubic hair, was just about the closest thing to heaven."<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqE37LJFxGQbr3V8j9V9KMYrrGfmqWV-gvfxQpnJGAIPi7mDDrnjtYJM9ht-SWcUWE2j8RyVwvjaEscXIkQzNjerS7kRrJm4jDH9lLIaI_PE6S95N_uvjgYPmsvUu4RLgqwLLMjwklVKrV/s1600/lady+chatterley+flowers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqE37LJFxGQbr3V8j9V9KMYrrGfmqWV-gvfxQpnJGAIPi7mDDrnjtYJM9ht-SWcUWE2j8RyVwvjaEscXIkQzNjerS7kRrJm4jDH9lLIaI_PE6S95N_uvjgYPmsvUu4RLgqwLLMjwklVKrV/s400/lady+chatterley+flowers.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
In his Radio 3 Essay, 'Explaining the Explicit', Man Booker
Prize winner Julian Barnes posed the question, "Is writing about sex,
the same as writing about any other human activity - say gardening or
cricket?" His exploration of the subject (including an amusing analysis of
an Evelyn Waugh sex scene) was compelling, and went on to talk about
self-consciousness and exposure; the fear that readers will assume the sexual
encounters you're writing about actually happened to you, and how this impacts
on the tone of the way you write about sex. "The naming of parts: which parts do you name and what names do you
give them? At the basic level... He put
his what into her, or indeed his, what?"
He talks of John Updike comparing the male member, in one novel, to a
yam, which made visualising the sexual scene difficult, the reader being
distracted by mental images of a vegetable stall.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The proper, grown up novel is the most intimate of
art forms," concludes Barnes, "the one that puts the reader's mind
and heart most closely in touch with the minds and hearts of the
characters. It is the place where the
most truth about the intimacies of life can, and should, still be
told." <o:p></o:p></div>
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The full recording can be found here: <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01r5np8" target="_blank">Explaining the Explicit</a><o:p></o:p></div>
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Last year, while completing a novel about a fairly dysfunctional (middle-class) family I
found myself in the slightly uncomfortable position of having to write a sex
scene.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, I say a sex scene, but love scene would describe it
more accurately, because it's really rather tender and in many ways quite
innocent, and though I found it necessary to describe the sleepy, sensual
foreplay leading up to the sex act, I stopped short of portraying the
intercourse itself, I'm not sure what Julian Barnes would say about that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had deliberated long and hard about whether to include
the scene at all, but it was ultimately necessary, because the reader needed an
awareness that this sixty-year-old protagonist, who is a remarkably likable
character, isn't some sort of saint; he is real, vulnerable, sexual, like any
other man. And I think understanding his
internal battle adds to our appreciation of his anguish, for the woman he has
formed a deep bond with is his own niece.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now hopefully, I dealt with that sensitively, and while the
developing obsessional relationship between these two consenting adults is not
entirely healthy, their involvement seeks to harm no-one else, and it's our own
narrow-mindedness as the reader, perhaps, which might object to the thought of
these two having sex.<o:p></o:p></div>
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More recently, I've been adapting 'Attachment' to a
radio play script, and this has given me the added difficulty of portraying
sex, through dialogue and sound affects alone.
Given these would-be lovers are barely conscious there isn't a lot of
dialogue in the novel, the scene is set through the prose, and so I fear I
shall be left relying on sounds, as in, sex sound (or at least foreplay
sounds) to convey this love scene in a radio drama version. This indeed has presented me with a new
challenge, how do I achieve this in a tasteful way?.<o:p></o:p></div>
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BBC Radio listeners do not always appreciate such subject
matter. Recently the corporation
received several complaints about love scenes portrayed on The Archers, The
Diary of Samuel Pepys, and a Woman's Hour drama, with one listener
stating: “Please can all the grunts and
grinds of people humping each other stop.
We don’t need that – we’d rather hear the pigs doing it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The British public have always been famously prudish about
sex and nudity in its serious form, with a preference to reduce the subject
to the somewhat immature schoolboy humour of the Carry On tradition.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Back in April 1970 acting stars Susan Penhaligon and
Michael Mackenzie set pulses racing and tongues wagging, when they dared to
portray an authentic scene from Romeo and Juliet naked in bed, at the
Connaught Theatre in Worthing. In total, there were ninety seconds of nudity within the two and a half hour performance, but local residents threatened to
cause havoc with tomatoes and water pistols if the scene went ahead, such was
the perception of an attack on Christian moral values.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In that same year The Sun newspaper introduced Page
3! The explicit objectification of bare
breasts in their daily tabloid was popular enough to save it from declining
sales. Clearly there has always been a strange, insidious double standard deep
within the nation's collective unconscious, and one that's not at all
healthy. A mother breastfeeding a child
on a train will still attract looks of disgust and condemnation!<o:p></o:p></div>
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It behoves all of us who work within the arts to try and
educate society, and encourage exploration in a positive, healthy way. For now, I shall return to agonising over the
beautiful, yet problematic erotic scene in my script.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
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Please feel free to leave your comments, and any sensible
tips or advice.</div>
bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7281515681975139224.post-22420455948411565132013-11-26T10:38:00.001+00:002013-12-01T01:37:52.916+00:00The 2013 Bad Sex in Fiction Award - It seems in some ways, our society has not moved on significantly from D H Lawrence's time.It's that time of the year writers seem to dread. Yes, it's the Bad Sex In Fiction awards, but this year it's got a few people challenging the validity of the somewhat unprestigious accolade.<br />
<br />
Established in 1993, by the late Auberon Waugh, and organised by the Literary Review, in order to draw attention to the "crude, tasteless and often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in contemporary novels, and to discourage it", former nominees include such national treasures as, Newsnight's Paul Mason and Will Self (on three separate occasions); even J K Rowling was tipped for the award last year - not for a Harry Potter book, of course!! -but for her post-Potter novel "The Casual Vacancy". As it happened, she didn't actually make the shortlist.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Previous winners of the Bad Sex in Fiction award include:</b><br />
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1993: Melvyn Bragg, A Time to Dance<o:p></o:p></div>
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1994: Philip Hook, The Stonebreakers<o:p></o:p></div>
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1995: Philip Kerr, Gridiron<o:p></o:p></div>
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1996: David Huggins, The Big Kiss: An Arcade Mystery<o:p></o:p></div>
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1997: Nicholas Royle, The Matter of the Heart<o:p></o:p></div>
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1998: Sebastian Faulks, Charlotte Gray<o:p></o:p></div>
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1999: A. A. Gill, Starcrossed<o:p></o:p></div>
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2000: Sean Thomas, Kissing England[3]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2001: Christopher Hart, Rescue Me<o:p></o:p></div>
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2002: Wendy Perriam, Tread Softly[2]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2003: Aniruddha Bahal, Bunker 13<o:p></o:p></div>
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2004: Tom Wolfe, I Am Charlotte Simmons<o:p></o:p></div>
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2005: Giles Coren, Winkler[4]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2006: Iain Hollingshead, Twenty Something[5]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2007: Norman Mailer, The Castle in the Forest[6]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2008: Rachel Johnson, Shire Hell; John Updike, Lifetime
Achievement Award<o:p></o:p></div>
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2009: Jonathan Littell, The Kindly Ones<o:p></o:p></div>
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2010: Rowan Somerville, The Shape of Her [7]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2011: David Guterson, Ed King[8]<o:p></o:p></div>
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2012: Nancy Huston, Infrared[9]<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
Alastair Campbell openly said he wanted to win it, in 2010. His comment immediately disqualified him, the award is intended to shame and embarrass writers, and presumably their readers too. Campbell had made it to the shortlist, though, beating his former boss, Tony Blair, who had surprised many with his autobiographical account of his own sexual appetite.<br />
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Laurie Penny writes a compelling article in the New Statesman, this week, "In Defence of Bad Sex", suggesting the award is dated and priggish. While we, as a nation, remain so inhibited about sex generally, and specifically, uncomfortable about portraying normal experiences of sex, she argues, young people will continue to develop their understanding about sex, from the increasingly hardcore sea of pornography, available so freely now on computers, tablets and phones. You can read her full article <a href="http://www.newstatesman.com/2013/11/half-century-after-end-chatterley-ban-high-culture-still-recoils-least-whiff-smut" target="_blank">here</a> .<br />
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Neurological evidence reveals that women who are inhibited about sex, will tend to feel less confident in other areas of life, such as standing up for themselves, against oppressive men. It is as if sexual confidence affects the actual architecture of the brain. If a society effectively stops women talking about sex, and exploring normal, healthy consensual sex, those women seem to become easier to manipulate and exploit, and that certainly seems to have been the case for generations gone by. If you make sex sinful, or even just mucky, women of all ages will be dissuaded from engaging in it, or even thinking about it, through shame.<br />
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Many would argue that the seemingly harmless, Bad Sex in Fiction award, plays into that agenda, to some degree.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaQdgmukwdJ3YVCK3Q_TA3_v2vvnHT_Y8z50_cVXCgQ3oa8F4ctgsS_c9BkKuB1E7rVkbJWZRH_7muomK1-FiBGbiHfn09gUMjAskoDPlZ6m4K0JuKiqYVvVvy1aOxjE4i_1JDOtvytLzs/s1600/lady+chatt+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaQdgmukwdJ3YVCK3Q_TA3_v2vvnHT_Y8z50_cVXCgQ3oa8F4ctgsS_c9BkKuB1E7rVkbJWZRH_7muomK1-FiBGbiHfn09gUMjAskoDPlZ6m4K0JuKiqYVvVvy1aOxjE4i_1JDOtvytLzs/s640/lady+chatt+3.jpg" width="465" /></a>D H Lawrence's 1928 novel "Lady Chatterley's Lover" is undoubtedly, the most famous book to have received an actual ban, in Britain, for its explicit sexual content. It wasn't until 1960, thirty years after the author's death, that the public could buy a significantly censored edition of, what many consider to be a literary masterpiece, such was the determination of successive governments to control what art and literature ordinary people had access to. There can be no doubt that those of less modest means had long been acquiring the book from Florence, and later France.<br />
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Back in 1929, a review by Edmund Wilson, praised "Lady Chatterley's Lover", for its attempt to explore sexuality with some degree of sensitivity and intelligence, recognising and admiring the challenge Lawrence had taken on:<br />
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"....The truth is simply, of course, that in English we
have had, since the eighteenth century, no technique—no vocabulary even—for
dealing with such subjects. The French have been writing directly about sex, in
works of the highest literary dignity, ever since they discarded the
proprieties of Louis XIV. They have developed a classical vocabulary for the
purpose. And they have even been printing for a long time, in their novels, the
coarse colloquial language of the smoking-room and the streets. James Joyce and
D. H. Lawrence are the first English-writing writers of our own time to print
this language in English; and the effect, in the case of Ulysses at least, has
been shocking to English readers to an extent which must seem very strange to a
French literary generation who read Zola, Octave Mirbeau and Huysmans in their
youth. But, beyond the question of this coarseness in dialogue, we have, as I
have intimated, a special problem in dealing with sexual matters in English.
For we have not the literary vocabulary of the French. We have only the coarse
colloquial words, on the one hand, and, on the other, the kind of scientific
words appropriate to biological and medical books and neither kind goes
particularly well in a love scene which is to maintain any illusion of glamor
or romance.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Lawrence has here tried to solve this problem, and he has
really been extraordinarily successful. He has, in general, handled his
vocabulary well. And his courageous experiment, in Lady Chatterley’s Lover,
should make it easier for the English writers of the future to deal more
searchingly and plainly, as they are certainly destined to do, with the phenomena
of sexual experience...."<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a writer myself, who largely navigates plot lines away from sexual encounters, I would say writing really well, about a sexual encounter, is as difficult as doing it well, in real life. Sex is, by its very nature, often unchoreographed and a bit <i>clunky, </i>is the word I think Laurie Penny used. Few of us have a back catalogue of BAFTA worthy performances, but awkwardness doesn't stop lovers doing it, or enjoying it, and perhaps our slight discomfort in reading about sex, is partly to do with our own personal insecurities and hang ups. <br />
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Certainly, when I read through this year's nomination passages, I didn't think they were particularly badly written, it seems to be the actual content that offends judges at the Literary Review. In some ways our society has not moved on significantly from Lawrence's time, it would seem.bien soeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05048425862322151465noreply@blogger.com0